The role of the parent is that of a gardener

[ 0 ] 20/08/2014 |


Almost 2 years ago a small seed was planted in my belly. A small seed to be cared for, nurtured and loved, to grow strong and make an entrance in this world. Our little baby boy left the protective environment of mamma’s uterus, broke the barrier of his known world and entered ours at 01:20 on August 3rd 2013 in Malta.

The small seed is now a flower about to start blossoming. A flower that I wished for, a flower I was blessed to be given.

It took quite a few years before I felt I was ready to become a parent. I knew baby-flowers are not chosen based on our personal wishes in terms of qualities. One needs to let go first of personal expectations, and be mature enough not to project his own dreams on another individual. I had to let go of certain fears, understand that I have no control over the baby I will be given, appreciate that I would never ‘own’ that person, and accept that my only role would be that of a gardener for as long as my baby needs and wants my help.

In my eyes, our role as parents is limited to that of the gardener, making sure our kids get what they need in order to grow as strong and healthy as can be, and reveal their unique beauty. Our responsibilities are to love, care for, and help the ‘seeds’ that have been given to us to grow into the best they can be, according to their wishes and capabilities, and the tools we have in our hands to help them achieve that.

Cause you see, no matter what we do, no matter the punishments, the time-outs, the private courses, the forced activities and wishful thinking, a geranium will never turn to be a rose. We might manage to make it resemble to one, but it will always be a sad, bad copy. Let a geranium be the best it can be, and help the rose grow as a rose, teaching them both they’re equally loved and needed.

I am by no means an experienced ‘gardener’, as I just started this journey, but I hope I will be able to understand in good time what sort of flower my husband and I have been given, and help him become what he was meant to be, understanding that certain things like his genetic coding have been there from the moment he got conceived.



Category: Erik and me

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