My husband – the one who pushes me out of my comfort zone

[ 0 ] 09/10/2018 | liza

Today I would like to write about my husband. The driving force behind many of the things I have managed to accomplish in life, smaller or bigger. As a personality trait, I tend to be resistant to certain types of change. In particular, I will resist change when that means pushing myself way far out of my comfort zone. I will engage and do well with things I love, tasks that give me pleasure and comfort. I will push myself far out and I will be super motivate to work with anything that sparkles my intellect and curiosity. Try to make me go for something I dislike, something I fear, something that makes me feel uncomfortable and evokes any kind of negative emotions, and chances are I won’t respond very nicely. I will resist with all my might.

This is where Roy comes into the picture. I won’t call him ‘my rock’. This is a bit of a cliché and it doesn’t work for our relationship anyways. In our case, I am the small rock. A rock that comes with a set of roots and keeps us grounded. I can get easily planted in new soil, wherever that may be and flourish there. The tricky thing is how to get me rolling, get me going for this new soil and to let go of the old one; that is if I like it. How to persuade me I can, and I should, roll towards this new land when I expect the ride not to be pleasurable. I can be very stubborn.

Roy is the sea that surrounds this little rock. He comes in waves. Sometimes gentle, and I remain soothed in place, and others in full force, leaving me no option but to roll and float along until he gently places me where I should be. He can be as stubborn as me. Many years back, he was the reason why I negotiated with my employer a working home based contract which I managed to get. I wished for what he wanted, a lifestyle which would not have us bound in a specific place, but I didn’t have the guts to go for it. He left me with no option. I went for it and got it.

Roy always pushes me mentally and physically. Oh, how I get angry with him! And how grateful I feel when I find myself afterwards on the other side when I have accomplished things I had considered impossible or simply just not for me. Even if the ride had been unpleasant in some instances, even if I would never do it again, it still gives me a feeling of satisfaction and power that I can do a few more things than I had never imagined possible.

Can you believe I did sledging? No? Well, neither do I but I did while we back-packed in New Zealand. I even bicycled with him the whole Bora-Bora main island (about 32km) and if you know me a tiny little bit, then you know I am not particularly sporty. I was cursing and panting but I did it and I was happy with myself for these accomplishments despite the constant nagging (sorry Roy 🙂 ).

Thanks to him, we have two beautiful children together. Having children was also a ‘No’ for me in our younger years. So was driving a car which I am now driving daily. It took me about 10 years again to sit behind the wheel but here I am. Another fear I have is that of speaking in front of crowds. The feeling I need to prove myself within a limited time frame in front of unknown people makes my brain shut down. I ‘d rather write to them at my own time and pace.

Roy told me I should, he told me I could do the speech and present my book ‘Where am I from?‘. He even cancelled his own business trip where he was supposed to be present at an awards ceremony where his company had been a nominee. He came to see me instead presenting my book. And we are going all together in a few weeks, Roy me and the kids, to present ‘Where am I from?’ and its backstory at an event in Scotland. Roy, my sea, is floating me along to go where I should be.

My sea is calm now. We are at a quiet place until new challenges set in <3