Hi! I’m Yoshito Darmon-Shimamori. I am half-French half-Japanese and grew up in France. This is where I learnt to read and write in Japanese. And it hasn’t been an easy journey. As I became a dad, it was very important for me to provide a more enjoyable, fun experience to my sons of learning to read and write in their home languages. My (now twelve years of) experience as a secondary school language teacher has helped me tremendously in this respect, and I have founded The Library 4 Multilinguals to help fellow parents and educators create an enjoyable experience for their children and students.

This is how I came to write The Parents’ Guide to Raising Multi-literate Children, and now In Search of the Lost Words – A Bilingual Time Travel Adventure. The former, as the title suggests, is aimed at parents (and educators). And the latter is a graphic novel aimed at multilingual children aged 8-12. It is a book specifically designed for multilingual children by its content AND format.

The format is probably what makes this book the most unique. On the one hand, it is designed to create opportunities for parents and children to discuss their family and culture. This is done by inviting the reader to complete some of the illustrations that demand details specific to the grandparents’ country and/or culture.

On the other hand, it creates a genuine need for the reader to write in their home language. Anna, the main character hardly speaks her father’s language. She (and the reader) therefore needs to work out from the situation and some words she can pick up (written around the speech bubbles) what the people are saying.

Is a bilingual/multilingual child someone who speaks equally well, and “without an accent” in all their languages?
This is one of the important questions I wanted to deal with in this book.
Representation matters. And this is also why, the main character, Anna is an “unbalanced” bilingual person – i.e. she speaks better one language than the other. It is important for children to understand that the widespread idea that a bilingual person speaks equally well both their languages is unrealistic. There are of course people who are more balanced. But it demands tremendous work and is relatively rare. This book both normalises the above but also demonstrates how to help our children want to speak more their home languages. Spending time with the family is what motivates Anna, the main character, to speak again her dad’s language, and consequently reconnect with her family.

Regarding “accents” I would like to quote my good friend Tetsu Yung who once said, “Accents are like good looks. We can all agree that there are times when they can be helpful in life, but they are not necessary”. To be bilingual, does not mean “sounding like a native”. And in many cases, regional accents make people sound different in various parts of the same country. Accents are part of our identity. They are our history. Our children’s accents are the reflection of the incredible life they are living. They have a foot in many cultures, and roots in different countries. Let’s treasure their accents!

How can we motivate a child to talk in their home language(s)?
This is a very frequently asked question. The most important point is to create an environment where they hear the language. So, we, parents and carers, should speak as much as possible in the language(s) we want our children to speak. It is a whole environment to create.

Of course, this is not all. On top of that, helping our children want to speak our language(s) with them is crucial. In our family, we have game nights, movie nights, and bedtime stories that are all mainly in our home languages and happen on a daily or weekly basis.

When we watched “Home Alone” with our sons, for example, they found it so funny that they re-enacted some of the scenes. But because we watched it in French, they were speaking in French. On game nights, when we play some traditional Korean games, we are going to say things in Korean. For children who are not that confident speaking in their home language, games that have set phrases to be said, and only a few of them, are ideal.
Going on holidays and getting away from the term time schedule and stress has also helped our sons be more inclined to speak in our home languages. And I don’t just refer to holidays in our home countries but any holidays. Going camping for a few days, sleeping in a tent, cooking on a barbecue, lighting the campfire, and going to the beach, were all things that contributed to our sons speaking to us more in our respective languages (French with Daddy, and Korean with Mummy). They learnt the terms related to the different activities such as preparing and cooking on a barbecue with us. So they know more the vocabulary related to all these activities in French and Korean, than in English. And when they’ll want to talk about them, the words that will come to their minds first will be in French and Korean (rather than in English – their strongest language).

Another important way to motivate our children to speak their home language is to NOT FORCE it onto them. Sometimes our children want to tell us something that is very important to them. It might be easier to say it in their school language. If at that time we decide to prioritise the language used over the message, we are showing our language as a barrier, and our home language can endorse a bad connotation…

How can we motivate a child to read, and later on write, in their home language(s) and not just be read to?
In the same way, as for speaking, we need to first create an environment for them to see how much fun they can get from reading. In the beginning, we, parents are those reading 100%. This shows them what they can get on their own once they can read.

It is important to not solely focus on books in the home language(s) to avoid making it/them “limiting criteria”. By this, I mean that we want our children to see that being able to read in more than one language gives them access to more books. This is why for bedtime stories, we read books in all our languages (French, and Korean of course, but English as well).
Once they love reading, deciphering the letters are the only barrier to doing so on their own. If we, parents, are those teaching our children, I would highly recommend doing it in a playful way. Because let’s be honest, children who want to work outside school are very rare. If you want some ideas, feel free to check The Parents’ Guide to Raising Multi-literate Children where there are 70+ activities that help you do that in a fun way.
Here is a video with 3 examples of games.

As teachers, teaching through games has tremendous power. But as parents, it helps us spend time in a fun way and creates bonding moments. At home, any work might be felt like an extra effort that our children’s friends don’t have to do. So this can be demotivating for our children. But which child would say “no” to a treasure hunt, or a memory game? It becomes 80% of fun for 20% of effort. And in that case, the effort is felt as being worth it as they are having fun! (The Parents’ Guide to Raising Multi-literate Children explains in detail how to adapt the level of difficulty to keep the effort around 20%).

And on top of this, one important habit to keep or include in our daily routine is to read regularly together. In our family, we read bedtime stories. Generally, my wife and I read most of the books. This helps our sons access the story effortlessly and see how fun they are. What is great is that in the morning, they often take that book back and pick up where we left off. Please note that this is because they can now read more or less fluently in French and Korean. But what helped the most is definitely finding the books they can’t get enough of! So spending time on blogs, reading reviews of books, and asking for recommendations is very much worth it!

The main message I want to convey is to attract our children towards reading and writing in their home language(s) with fun (instead of pushing them towards it).

Once they can read, writing is only a step away and can be achieved in exactly the same way. (Again, I will direct you to The Parents’ Guide to Raising Multi-literate Children).

How can children’s books, and your new one, in particular, help us achieve that?
Finding/creating the motivation to read and write is key. The story of In Search of the Lost Words features a main character who does not speak very well her dad’s language. She can only pick up a few words when people speak to her in that language. The scenario, therefore, gives a genuine reason to have empty speech bubbles that the reader will complete. It follows as well the 80% fun 20% effort ratio advised earlier.
Children are free to write texts that are only a few words long or more elaborate sentences. It is totally adaptable to the reader’s ability.
One thing I want to stress is that this book should be used mainly for parents and children to connect and talk about their language, family, and culture.

They can read it casually together. Children don’t HAVE TO write in the speech bubbles straightaway. Whenever there is an empty speech bubble, they can work out what the characters are saying. And if it’s a nice sentence that your child wants to keep in the book, that’s when they can write it.
Because it is going to be in a book, it is likely that your child will want it to be neat and “perfect” (i.e. without mistakes).

This becomes an ideal moment to teach your child about spelling or grammar rules. It will therefore help with the retention of this teaching/learning moment. Feel free to discuss these rules together and write on a separate sheet before your child copies the sentences in the speech bubbles. That way, they will feel in a safe environment and will learn better.

This book is therefore NOT a workbook to complete one speech bubble at a time. It can be completed over many readings, always by following your child’s lead.

In Search of the Lost Words – A Bilingual Time Travel Adventure
Support the campaign to help this book come to life!
You can learn more about the book, its benefits, and the rewards available as part of the Kickstarter Campaign here!

The post Yoshito Darmon-Shimamori, a trilingual language teacher: Advice for parents raising bilingual children and his new book! first appeared on Maltamum.

Nakita Attard Vassallo is the passionate woman behind the popular blog for mums themamamanual.com. She strives to empower mamas to manage their time better, and most importantly, voices that self-care is a priority. As mothers, we must exercise a love for ourselves first and foremost before taking care of others. A researcher and a writer at heart, she made up time while running her busy life as a career girl in the mornings and a homemaker around the clock, and published her first book –  The Mama Manual – How busy mums get organised which is jam-packed with practical tips you can pick up in no time. Lets get to know her better.

How would you describe yourself in 10 words?
Genuine, loyal, resourceful, organised, vibrant, witty, creative, confident, positive and self-disciplined. 

Nakita before the kids, and after. In what ways did parenthood change you?
Oh, many. Let me just touch on the major two however.  In terms of being organised, I was the complete opposite of where I am today. I had way too much time on my hands and sadly, I wasted it. I spent most of my time looking for stuff I misplaced, or engaging in activities which I could do with my eyes closed today.

Parenthood changed the way I looked at life. It may sound cheesy, but it felt like I had been wearing a blindfold over my eyes all my life. Suddenly, life seemed sweeter. Simple things gave me great joy and I became appreciative of even the hardest days. 

Having children can make you realise that we’re so small in this big, beautiful world, that being grateful is a must and every day is just precious.

How did you get started with writing your first book ‘the Mama Manual – How busy mums get organised’, and how did this result in a complete change of career?
I’ve wanted to write a book for as long as I can remember. I recall thinking to myself, what is it that I’m good at? What do my friends come to me for advice for? All it took was one (well-slept, might I add!) night, and the next morning I had my answer.

It was never my intention to run my own business. The book opened up many doors for me. Back in January of 2018 I launched the blog and the brand’s social media pages, and they took off like wildfire. The book was then launched late July of the same year, and the rest is history. 

Can you tell me some of your strengths that really helped you in blogging and writing a book?
Self-discipline and being resourceful were two strengths that I could not have done without. There were days when I felt like lazing on the sofa, but I set deadlines for myself which I wanted to meet. Of course, being so passionate about the topic was a huge help, so let’s not lend it all to my strengths shall we? Blogging requires many skills, some of which I did not possess, but being resourceful meant I found ways and means to learn and get from point A to point B.

What was your greatest failure and what did you learn from that?
I’ve never failed. What’s failure at the end of the day? It’s a state which only you can declare.  I try, and I don’t give up.  When I have a less than desirable result, I step back, and I analyse. I learn. And I try again. It gets better each and every time. 

Tell me about your proudest achievement.
Would you have guessed if I said it was my children?

A lot of people think that blogging is an easy way to make money online. Do you have some tips for those people who are interested in making money following this route?
I’m not quite sure if you want me to comment on the first statement, but I will. Blogging is not an easy way to make money. It is simple yes, but only if you have the right attitude, skill set and work ethic. I’ve got plenty of tips to share, but I’ll go with one great one. Find your ‘why’. Above all, blogging needs to be consistent. Can you imagine writing at least 52 blog posts a year, one every week on the same day? Your mission has got to be something you’re passionate about, or your blogging journey will very quickly fizzle out.

On a scale of 1-10, how lucky do you think you are, and why?
0! I’ve never won the lottery Luck only exists on such rare occasions, but apart from that, what’s luck? Some people might think I’m lucky to be my own boss. They don’t know how many evenings I spent working instead of playing. They don’t know how challenging it was to strike a balance between a full-time job, a fast-growing side hustle, family and myself. And they definitely don’t know the anxiety I battled on several occasions because of the high standards I set for myself. I worked hard to get to where I am today, and luck had nothing to do with it.

If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask?
Really, how fattening is a figolla?  Or maybe I really don’t wanna know! *Chuckes* In all seriousness though, the beauty of life lies in the unknown.  I don’t think I want to know the answer to anything life-changing.

What is the one thing you hope to teach your children?
That life is precious.  And to have big dreams.  Anything is possible.  All it takes is passion, courage, and a lot of patience.

Who do you admire most and why?
My parents.  Both of them are incredible human beings.  Our family struggled financially when I was a little girl, and my mother was the epitome of strength and selflessness.  I recall us not having quite enough to go by with, and my mum always forgot about her needs, so we could all be fed and clothed. My dad, bless him, donated one of his kidneys to a non-family member a few years ago.  I am still in awe of him.  He is my superhero.

If you could travel back in time and give advice to your teenage self what would that be?
To make the most out of my teenage years!  I never quite appreciated how ‘cushioned’ life is at that age.  As they say, youth is wasted on the young!

What is your vision? Where do you see yourself in 5, 10 years from now?
Over the past few months, I’ve becoming fascinated with what the online world has to offer.  I’ve got enough ideas and plans to keep me busy for at least a few years! I envisage a thriving online business which I can run from anywhere.  My dream is to be successful enough to be able to run the business with my husband, so we can travel far and long and do the work we so love from anywhere we please.

Social Media and Contact Information
Facebook: The Mama Manual
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_mama_manual
Website: http://themamamanual.com/

The post Interview with Nakita Attard Vassallo first appeared on Maltamum.

Caroline Engvall, mum of three, is a journalist, lecturer and best-selling author who has written several crime novels in Swedish dealing with the very difficult and poignant topics of children’s sex trade, domestic and international trafficking. Caroline makes a real difference in the fight against children’s sexual abuse. She runs several projects that help children who are exposed to online crimes, including the publication of educational materials, help websites, podcasts and television documentaries. Caroline is the 2018 winner of the Elise Lindqvist award and she has won the title “Brave Mama” (Mama magazine).

Caroline has initiated conversations with members of the Swedish government and she has been engaged by the Swedish royalty, Queen Silvia and Princess Sofia, to talk about the subject both privately and for the Childhood Foundation. Thanks to her work, there have been lots of changes in Sweden, both in attitudes towards the vulnerable, but also with law changes, penalties, support and treatment for the victims.

Caroline’s new book ‘Dockleken‘ will be released in Swedish on 25 April. We’re also eagerly expecting her books to be published in English in the near future.

Interview with Caroline Engvall

How did you get started with writing books on the subject?

I wrote my first book ”14 år till salu” (14 years for sale) ten years ago. It is the story of Tessan, who after she had been sexually abused, she started using sex to suppress her anxiety. I got in touch with many children and young people who were exposed to sexual abuse and had exposed themselves online. I had the privilege of becoming a spokesperson, their voice, with the opportunity to influence politicians and the public in general. But above all, the driving force behind all my writing, is to show young people that they are not alone and that there is help readily available to them.

You have written several books on the theme of children’s sexual exploitation. Why did you decide to deal with these issues in the form of crime fiction?

Before my crime novels, I had written several novels and report books on children being caught in the Swedish sex trade and how vulnerable children can be online. Thanks to my meetings with vulnerable young people and perpetrators, I have had the opportunity to look into a world that not so many adults have access to. In the crime scene, I dress this knowledge in an exciting criminal suit – and the main stories are about the escalating sex trade with children online. My book ”Judasvaggan” (The Judas Cradle) is about perpetrators throughout the world, also in Sweden, who can and do order children to be readily available to be abused, located in different parts of the world.

Your books depict poignant, true stories about young people who use sex as self-harm behavior, children who sell sex and who are sold by others – so-called domestic trafficking – and children’s vulnerability on the net. Can you tell us a bit more about the process, how do you conduct your research?

I wrote my first book, 14 years for sale, just over ten years ago. It became a best-seller. This book has been followed by several others, where I looked into a dark world that touched on the sex trade of children in Sweden. I interviewed police, social services and prosecutors. I traveled all across the country to sit on trials and meet vulnerable children and young people. Taking their important stories further into the world of deeds was necessary, but difficult. The world of the vulnerable is not fiction. It happens here and now, for real. How would I best manage their trust, convince readers that the darts puzzle is really real?

Those thoughts meant that for a long time I refused to write about crime, even though something deep inside me made itself more and more loud. The voice turned out to belong to my journalistic side, the one who longs to reveal and show the reality in a white fluorescent light. Suddenly, it seemed obvious to let a abuse network of senior Swedish men that I followed remotely for many years, take the place of the act. Many are the girls who have come their way. That was enticed by confirmation and promises of violence. As of self-harm, they were drawn to people with knowledge and willingness to harm them more than they could.

To be able to write a credible crime story about that sex network, I needed to get them to life. Creating relationships, infiltrating and lying – just like my protagonist, the journalist Lovisa Ling, does in my book “Scars we carry.” The men with stars on the uniforms, leather gloves and cold eyes are not innocent and can be prepared to go far to protect themselves and what they’ve built. This involved a number of precautionary measures from my end but also an unexpectedly simple “road in”. The desire to utilize a willing and self-damaging teenager attracted several of the men from the network and I followed closely their activities.

The result was the book I just mentioned, the “Scars we carry”. The release of this book resulted in news reports and newspaper interviews about the huge demand for children’s bodies, about the confirmed via confirmatory tests abuse of young people. A debate on changing my country’s existing legislation followed next. For me personally, all this time spent inside a pitch black world in the company of some of the country’s most dangerous men, was clearly worth all the risks of my research.

How can we talk to our children about online safety? Where can we start and at what age?

We can start by talking about the body, integrity and boundaries already during the preschool age – or as early as possible. Save the Children “Stopp! Min kropp!” is a material I recommend as a starting point to Swedish speakers, where a guardian can also record good and bad secrets with their young children.

Also, we can talk to them about the internet even when they are very small, and we can discuss both about the good things and about the risks involved.

When it comes to children in preschool age, it is a good idea to be involved in the child’s internet habits, and preferably start by looking and exploring things together. When children start reading and writing on their own, they are often more active online users and can browse on their own. The older the child becomes, the greater the need for the child’s integrity even with regard to what is happening online.

I advise parents to get interested in what their children do online; which games they play and what they like to do online. These can be great conversation starters both about things that happen and make them feel good and things that make them feel not so good. Ask the children to show you. Let them be the experts and you an ignorant but curious adult. Younger children need to learn that there are people online who hide behind false identities and that one should be cautious about sending pictures or disclosing detailed information such as their name and address to unknown people over the internet.

It is also important to help children understand that they must tell an adult and ask for help if there is something that does not feel good in one’s network contacts, even if someone has threatened or told someone not to tell. A good way to address this topic, as an example, is when issues concerning sexual vulnerability on the Internet are highlighted in the media. One can ask the child if he/she has heard of the event, what has he/she thinking about it, how does he/she react when someone unknown contacts him/her, how should he/she answer when questions received by someone online make the child experience negative and uncomfortable emotions. By picking up the discussion on the basis of examples that you have heard from newspapers or friends, you signal that you know that this exists and in this way facilitate the child to tell if something does not feel good.

How can we ensure as parents that our children are safe online? What steps should we take?

We can start by what makes us feel worried. Does the child seem to have changed, for example, is he/she withdrawn from friends, has become more aggressive or in any other ways signal that they are not well? Show them that you are interested in understanding what is your child going through. Changes in mood or behavior can be due to many different things.

Have you ever come across parents who knew their child was abused but didn’t do anything about it? And how can the child seek help and healing in such cases?

Way too often. To get the question at all – and to ask concrete – is important for the vulnerable children. Sometimes parents whose child has been exposed online do not consider the spread of images on the web as a big issue. It is of paramount importance for the child that a parent asks the question. It shows that the parent is an adult who wants to understand and cares about him/her. If such a thing happens to your family, you should find the time and have the interest to take advantage of the answer you have received and act on it.

It is a training issue to be able to talk to young people in a respectful manner. Try to be so curious that you almost crack, for real, so that it doesn’t seem to fake. Also don’t be afraid to say, “What you tell me now is hard to take in, I notice that I am worried.” Share concern without saying “let it be there, now I shall report what happens”. Creating and maintaining a strong relationship is incredibly important.

Even if you as an adult do not have as much experience in the children’s world on the internet, it is important that you interest yourself and show that you care by asking questions. In order to gain a basic knowledge of different sites and functions, you can also ask other adults who may be better off than you are. One tip is also to go to popular sites and see how they work. For individual conversations with children and young people, openly asked questions about internet use can lead to more sensitive issues. Just be careful not to be condemning and moralizing. Ask for your interest and care.

Examples of questions can be “Which pages do you usually visit?”, “Do you have friends on the internet? How do you usually get in touch? ”,“ Did you get to know someone via the internet that you didn’t know before? ”,“ Do you put pictures of yourself on the web? ”,“ Have you posted pictures on someone else? ”, “Has anyone else posted pictures of you? In what context? How did it feel? ”,“ Many people are involved in unpleasant things on the internet, such as, for example, someone sending strange pictures, writing about sexual things or doing something else that has not felt good. Have you been through it?”.

What parents should do if they find out their child has been abused?

Time and confidence are keywords. Put away your prejudices and try to understand the underlying causes. We all wish the best for our children but it is impossible to guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen to them. The most important thing is that children know they can talk to their parents or someone else they trust if something unpleasant happens. By starting early talking to our children about feelings, thoughts and relationships, a time when less dramatic things have happened in life, we train both ourselves and the child in having an open communication even when things get difficult.

Help the child think about how to protect themselves now from what has already been. Help to find strategies and ways out when you are in that situation. Such strategies may be that you start to set small limits for yourself, for example, that you do not go online every day. Instead, you decide to do something else, something good that you liked to do before.

What developments do you see ahead in this field? Does the future look positive?

Many. The interest in Sweden is enormous and more and more people are beginning to understand the extent of the problem. The topic is now at a very high level, both in the Riksdag, the national legislature and the supreme decision-making body of Sweden, the government and in the Swedish royal house. I really feel that I can influence people.

If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask?

What happens after death?

What do you think about when you’re alone in your car / motorbike?

All my new projects. Right now Safe Selfie Academy, a training initiative for students in Sweden, and my own writing courses that start this summer.

Caroline before becoming a mother, and after. In what ways did parenthood change you?

Although I now know what can happen to children online, at the same time I give my own children much freedom there. Through constant conversations and building trust, I hope they will tell me if something happens, without me violating their integrity.

What is your vision? Where do you see yourself in 5, 10 years from now?

Hopefully in the same place, but with even more people having had the chance to get access to the knowledge. I believe in the power of being able to change things. During these ten years that I have been writing and lecturing on the subject of sex as anxiety suppression and the children being caught in the Swedish sex trafficking, there have been lots of changes, both in attitudes towards the vulnerable, but also with law changes, penalties, support and treatment for the victims. I choose to focus on the fight forward. But I also use tough training as a brain cleaner, like Thai boxing/Muay Thai (I live and work in Thailand six months per year), Bulgarian bags (I am a certified instructor), as well as functional training and Yin Yoga.

Contact Details
Website: www.mixmedia.se
Facebook: Caroline Engvall Writer
Safe Selfie Talks
Instagram: @engvallcaroline and @bloodysoulfulwriting

The post Caroline Engvall, the voice of children who have been exposed to online sexual abuse first appeared on Maltamum.