The role of the parent is that of a gardener

[ 0 ] 20/08/2014 | liza

Almost two years ago, a tiny seed was planted in my belly—to be cared for, nurtured, and loved, to grow strong and enter this world. Our little baby boy left the protective environment of mamma’s uterus, broke the barrier of his known world, and entered ours at 01:20 on August 3rd, 2013, in Malta.

The tiny seed is now a flower about to start blossoming. A flower that I wished for, a flower I was blessed to be given. It took quite a few years before I felt I was ready to become a parent. I knew baby flowers are not chosen based on our wishes regarding qualities. One needs to let go of personal expectations first and be mature enough not to project one’s own dreams onto another individual. I had to let go of certain fears, understand that I have no control over the baby I will be given, appreciate that I would never ‘own’ that person, and understand that my only role would be that of a gardener for as long as my baby needs and wants my help.

In my eyes, our role as parents is limited to that of the gardener, making sure our kids get what they need to grow as strong and healthy as possible and reveal their unique beauty. Our responsibilities are to love, care for, and help the ‘seeds’ that have been given to us grow into the best they can be, according to their wishes and capabilities and the tools we have in our hands to help them achieve that.

Cause you see, a geranium seed will never grow to be a rose. When parents force their baby flowers to become something different from what they are, they might end up resembling their parents’ vision, but they will be sad, ugly copies of another species. Let a geranium be the healthier geranium it can be, and help the rose grow up as a rose, showing them that both are equally loved and needed.

I am by no means an experienced ‘gardener’, as I just started this journey, but I hope I will be able to understand in good time what sort of flower my husband and I have been given and help him become what he was meant to be.