Is there sex after giving birth?

Guest post by Anya Sol*

And so you did it!

Whether naturally, a C-section, with complications or without, you had your baby!

Now some months shall pass, you get the hang of breast or bottle feeding, get used to sleepless nights and eating whatever is in your reach, manage to remember to at least put some sort of clothes on before leaving your house and start forgetting how a relaxed 20 minute shower even feels like.

You get used to this new and strange routine and sooner or later will start wondering how to restore the old romance with your hubby (if you still remember you got one).

I remember taking deep breaths in my bathroom as I reach out for the mirror in complete privacy in order to see what damage has been done, than having a look and searching for a steady seat to ease myself down on as my knees give in… Oh lord…

Things change. You might have un unpleasant horizontal or vertical scar across your tummy or an unsightly stitching on your perineum or even internal vaginal tearing, but I beg you – do not despair, it will eventually heal up!

Of course I am no medical expert to identify a healing duration of a particular case, but I assure you, if the damage was that permanent, no one would re-start the intimate life or let alone have a second child ever.

So as you heal and come to terms with certain changes in your body you will finally have a talk with your partner about well, starting the sex life again.

At this point if it has been just a couple of weeks since your delivery I can virtually see your eyes popping out – what? SEX?! Are you kidding me? Never again! But I am ready to bet that yes, you will have sex again.

Fair enough the times of wild spontaneous passion might be gone and you have to work around your baby’s schedule, but that doesn’t necessarily make you celibate.

If you are breastfeeding the chances also are that your libido seems to have curled up and died somewhere quietly without you even noticing. It might take an extra effort for your partner to turn you on, but I am dead sure he will be able to understand and offer you a helping hand considering that he is the one interested in the outcome most.

Another aspect is obviously the actual sensations during the intercourse. I won’t lie to you here – the first couple of times might be somewhat uncomfortable. But that will beyond any doubt change as well.

And finally to the juicy part. Ever heard the rumours that sex gets better after birth? They are actually true for most women!

Here is what is very likely to happen to you: once you wean your baby completely your libido will sky rocket to hights unseen before. I mean really higher and higher (having a spare man at hand is highly recommended for this period, but I do not vouch for his general well-being as within the first two weeks after weaning he might crawl out half-dead from underneath you).

Sensations? Easier and faster achievable orgasms, higher pain threshold, higher stamina, multiple orgasms and more intense orgasms are just to mention a few possibilities. That is definitely worth waiting for.

To conclude: keep patient, be open with your partner, give it time, go gently, have realistic expectations and the reward will definitely come.

Enjoy!

Yours faithfully, Anya Sol

*Anya Sol is a 31 year old mum of a young girl and works as an Online Marketing Manager.

Category: Guest posts